So, two and a half weeks ago, Mom started going to weekly doctor's appointments. Her doctor, Dr, Welsh I believe, told her she was a "few caterpillars dilated" and "90-person E-Faced" or some such nonsense. This website explains better than I ever could. At any rate, this "doctor" told her that I would "be born" "any day now": I'm using air-quotes, you just can't see them.
Anywho, long story short...here we are after two more bogus appointments and I'm still safely nestled in Tummy Land. Why? Simple. I love messing with people. I may never come out. I may belong to the mailman. I may be a girl! I'm kidding of course. Girls are gross and I definitely belong to the Tall Man: you'll see when I come out. And it's not that I don't want to come out. But I want to be ready and I want my parents to be ready.
Coming out early would have meant I would've been a little under developed, mom would've had to miss the end of her school year, the tall man's vacation days would have been messed up and the dog would have been anxious. Then again, the dog always seems anxious. Besides, we need to give everybody time to guess my name, right? It's Beavis, cat's out of the bag.
Now, if you'll excuse me, the parents are trying to teach me my ABC's by watching the National Spelling Bee (Nerd Alert!). As you can see below, the dog has no interest in his ABC's.
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